


Unruly Heart

by KLK1618



Category: Law & Order: SVU, The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Acceptance, Coming Out, F/F, M/M, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-23 05:34:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30050682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KLK1618/pseuds/KLK1618
Summary: Rafael and Sonny find a video of a young girl in Indiana and it gives them both the confidence to finally come out to the squad and in turn the chance to finally confess their feelings
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan, Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after Sightless in a Savage Land
> 
> This is my first Barisi fic. This is not my main ship but I will admit that it’s growing on me.  
> As this is my first fic where a character comes out, so if there is anything that I have written that is insensitive, please tell me and I will immediately change it. 
> 
> With all that being said this fic has many story elements from the incredible Broadway musical The Prom so there will be spoilers. 
> 
> This fic is mainly inspired by the song  
> Unruly Heart  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqOhQJh75ug
> 
> Video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FYqSWs8G9M4
> 
> This tweet  
> https://twitter.com/warrenleighttv/status/1036388719278923776?s=21
> 
> And this interview as well 
> 
> https://www.eonline.com/news/696074/it-s-absolutely-time-law-and-order-svu-introduced-a-new-gay-character-so-where-are-they
> 
> All credit for the music/lyrics goes to Matthew Sklar, Chad Beguelin, and the amazing Caitlin Kinnunen & Jo Ellen Pellman for singing this beautiful song. The story itself is all thanks to Bob Martin, Chad Beguelin, and Jake Viertel 
> 
> I hope you enjoy

_It’s a clear day in March when both Rafael and Sonny open up their laptops and check their emails and come face to face with a video of Emma Nolan. They had all been following the story about Emma, the teenage girl in Indiana who wanted to take her girlfriend Alyssa to prom but her school wouldn’t allow it so instead of being decent people, they canceled the entire event. This caused Emma to get major backlash from her classmates, and Alyssa to hide her true self because her mother- who also happens to be the PTA president expects her daughter to be perfect. Despite all of this Emma stayed strong. Her story even got attention from some big Broadway stars. Unfortunately, things got worse. The squad's hearts broke when they found out that the PTA gave Emma a prom, her own prom- alone because that was what was required by the state attorney. They could only picture the poor girl standing alone in her gym while her classmates partied across town. Both men had somehow felt a connection to Emma, a need to protect her because of who she was and who they were. Kat as well took this issue personally. With all that being said, they were both surprised when they opened their emails to find a link from Kat with the message “The next part of Emma’s story”. Both men click on the link and see Emma with her guitar, telling her story- her struggles, her longing to be accepted, how she’s proud to be who she is, all of it. They click play and the music starts_

**Some hearts can conform**

**Fitting the norm**

**Flaunting their love for all to see**

**I tried to change**

**Thinking how easy life could be**

**I just kept on failing**

**I guess that was a sign**

**That there wasn't much hope**

**For this unruly heart of mine**

_Barba and Carisi feel something in their chest as the music plays, they know this feeling all too well._

**Then, you came along**

**And right or wrong**

**Feelings began to overflow**

**We had to hide**

**Thinking that no one else could know**

**And not having you near me**

**Was where I drew the line**

**So, I had to conceal**

**This poor, unruly heart of mine**

**And though I don't know how or when**

**But somehow, I learned to see**

**No matter what the world might say**

**This heart is the best part of me!**

_Barba and Carisi watch in awe as they watch Emma sing her heart out about being proud of who she is-no matter what, and that she’s proud to love Alyssa._

**So, fears, all in the past**

**Fading so fast**

**I won't stay hidden anymore**

**I'm who I am**

**And I think that's worth fighting for**

**And nobody out there ever gets to define**

**The life I'm meant to lead**

**With this unruly heart of mine**

_The video transitions to kids all across the country telling Emma their stories_

**Hi, Emma**

**Loved your video**

**Where do I start?**

**I think my parents always knew**

**Nothing made sense until him**

_At that one line, something clicks in the two men. That’s it,_ **_that’s_ **_how they felt, and a teenage boy had finally put it into words._

**She’s the best thing in my life**

**The only good thing**

**But we're always hiding**

_The two guys sigh. They both know who they are, they always have, but neither of them have been able to tell anyone, especially the other. No matter how high up you are in the ADA office, coming out as a man is never easy- you’re better off hiding. Hiding who you truly are, and hiding who you truly love._

**You're not the only one**

_Now the kids who commented are joining in the video_

**And though I don't know how or when**

**But somehow, I learned to see**

**No matter what the world might say**

**This heart is the best part of me**

  
  


_The music building up unleashed the floodgates. Sonny and Rafael are in tears at the beauty of the song, at the revelation that who they are is nothing to be ashamed of._

**So, fears, all in the past**

**Fading so fast**

**I won't stay hidden anymore**

**I'm who I am**

**And I think that's worth fighting for**

_They need to fight for their right to be happy_

**And nobody out there ever gets to define**

**The life I'm meant to lead**

**With this unruly heart of mine**

**Mine**

_The video transitions back to Emma, as she finishes the song with pure pride_

**And nobody out there ever gets to define**

**The life I'm meant to lead**

**With this unruly heart of mine**

_They each close their laptops and just sit back, trying to take in what they just heard. They have unruly hearts but they_ **_know_ ** _the lives they’re meant to lead. From now on, no one will ever define who they’re meant to be. That one video just changed the course of their whole lives_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_About 20 minutes later, Rafael walks into the squad room and to his surprise, the squad is all crowded around Kat’s computer watching the end of the video_

A: Wow

B: know 

_Everyone’s head snaps up. Kat proceeds to wipe the tears from her face and looks up at Barba_

K: I’m guessing you got my email?

_Barba’s voice is soft_

B: Yes. Thank you for sending it to me

K: Of course, When I found it, I had to show everyone. We’ve all been following this since the beginning, Do you know if Carisi saw it?

_As if on cue Carisi walks into the precinct._

C: Did you guys watch the video? It’s incredible.

A: It was. Emma looked so happy by the end of her video, she looked free.

O: After everything, she’s been through she deserves to finally feel that way. I mean her school board canceled her prom because she’s a lesbian for god sakes!

C: I know, look there are traditional views and then there’s bigotry. That’s what that was.

_Amanda and Fin nod in agreement_

K: They even gave her a separate prom because they didn’t want her to attend with her girlfriend. It's ridiculous, not to mention her parents had already disowned her. I completely understand how Emma feels. My family isn’t fully accepting of my sexuality either, but like she said- “I am who I am” and I couldn’t be prouder of it. Emma has every right to feel the same way.

_Olivia notices Barba is strangely quiet_

O: Rafael is everything alright?

_Barba grips his phone tighter and looks directly at the squad._

B: I need to tell you guys something. It’s important

  
  


O: Of course. Do you want to step into my office? 

B: No I need to say it here.

_Because if he doesn't say it now, he may never say it at all_

O: Alright.

A: So what did you want to tell us?

_Barba takes a deep breath before speaking_

B: After watching the video and seeing Emma so vocal and proud of who she is, I’ve realized that I can’t hide my unruly heart either. I’m gay

_Barba waits for the backlash, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Olivia walks over and wraps her friend in a hug._

O: Thank you for having the courage to tell us. 

B: Thank you for listening. 

_The two hug again. When they break Barba turns back to the squad. Kat walks over and gives a teary smile._

  
  


Ka: I may not have known you for long Mr, Barba, but I know how hard it is to come out, you have every right to be proud of who you are.

_Barba smiles sincerely, for the first time in a while_

B: Thank you, Kat, really. And please call me Rafael.

_Kat smiles wide_

K: Okay Rafael. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. if anyone ever gives you a hard time they’ll have to answer to me 

O: To all of us. All we want is for you to be happy Rafa. 

_Carisi steps up_

C: We may not work together anymore but you’re still one of us

_Fin pats Barba on the back_

F: You’re part of the family man, always.

_Barba smiles and starts to cry_

B: Thank you guys. I was _so_ afraid. I’ve held this in for so long, but I knew that if a high school girl was strong enough to confront her school board, then I could come out to the people who have been there for me through thick and thin.

_The squad smiles at Barba. He smiles back._

B: Now that I’ve said that, I know what I need to do, what I’ve wanted to do for so long 

_He turns to Carisi_

B: Sonny, I don’t know if you feel the same way-

_Caris holds up his hand and smiles_

C: I’m going to stop you right there. I feel the same way

B: You do?

C: Yes, and while I hate to piggyback on your coming out, I was honestly coming over to tell you guys about me as well. 

_Carisi looks at Rafael first and then at the squad. He takes a deep breath before continuing_

C: I’m bisexual. I never told anyone before, the church may be accepting about somethings, but this isn’t one of them, I fought with myself about it for so long, until I finally realized that it wasn’t worth it if It was going to keep eating me up inside. I was finally happy with who I was, but I was worried that others wouldn’t be. That video gave me a sense of strength and comfort that I’ve never known before. I knew I couldn’t keep it in any longer and I couldn’t keep my feelings in anymore either. I’m who I am- I’m Sonny.

_This time Kat and Amanda both walk over and hug Sonny_

A: We’re happy for you Sonny 

K: Really happy. Let me know if you ever want to talk okay? 

O: My office is always open.

_Carisi looks at the women and smiles._

C: You have no idea how good it feels that you are all willing to support me. 

K: Of course 

O: Your family Sonny, as is Rafael. 

_Amanda whispers into Carisi’s ear_

A: Now go get your man. 

_Kat chuckles while Fin pats Carisi on the back before he walks over to Barba._

C: Rafael whatever you're about to say, I want you to know that I feel the same way 

B: After everything I did, after I left I never thought I’d be able to say anything. I’ve wanted to say something for so long, going up against you in court made me finally realize my feelings. Emma’s video made everything clear, _you_ made everything clear.

_Barba steps closer to Carisi_

B: I meant it when I said you really have become a lawyer. You bested me and I couldn’t be prouder. And now I would be so proud if you would give me the chance to go on a date with you, and maybe after that have it become something more- because you make me so damn happy. 

_Amanda and Olivia are smiling, Kat looks like she may burst into tears of joy, and even Fin looks like he might actually break into a smile._

C: Yes Rafael I would love to. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for you to ask that. I’ve looked up to you for years and somewhere along that way, that admiration turned into something more. Seeing you in court a couple of weeks ago, brimming with confidence, only confirmed what I already knew. Rafael, I came to all of your closing arguments for a reason. 

_Sonny gets even closer to Rafael_

C: I really hope this turns into something more because my unruly heart loves you.

B: I love you too Sonny.

_The two men look at each other longingly, you can see the love on their faces_

B: I need you to kiss me right now

C: Gladly.

_The two kiss not caring that anyone else is in the room. The men break and look at the squad, their family_

O: If we haven’t already made this clear, this stays with us until you both are ready to tell anyone else. 

_The two men breathe a sigh of relief_

B & C: Thank you. 

_Olivia smiles at the two genuinely. Suddenly Amanda gets an alert on her phone causing the two men to break. Amanda checks to see what it says._

A: Guys, listen to this. It says that Emma’s video has gone viral, and thanks to her video and one of the actors Trent, her classmates have all started to support her. C: That’s great! A: Also thanks to one of the other actors Dee Dee and her American Express Black Card, the school now has enough money, and they're going to put on an inclusive prom for all of the LGBTQ+ kids across the state. 

K: Yes!

_Kat nearly squeals, while Barba and Carisi hug each other, Carisi giving Barba a kiss on the cheek. Olivia, Amanda, and Fin are all smiles._

F: That’s awesome man, really

_Amanda looks back down and keeps reading_

A: Alyssa even told Emma that she loves her, and they finally get to go to prom together.

O: That’s wonderful! 

_Barba and Carisi look at each other and smile. Emma & Alyssa finally get their happy ending, and this is the start of theirs _

O: I think this day calls for a celebration!

A: Definitely

B: The usual place?

C: Works for me.

_The squad grabs their stuff and heads out the door. Kat stops at the elevator as she looks back to see Rafael and Sonny walking out holding hands, the two are smiling, finally feeling free. Kat smiles back at them as the three enter the elevator with the rest of the squad. They don't know what will happen next, but one thing rings true- Thank you Emma, now go enjoy your prom._


	2. It's Time to Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was only supposed to be a one-shot, but after listening to “It’s Time to Dance” in my car on the way to work and getting a little emotional, inspiration struck! 
> 
> This chapter will be more of The Prom characters' POV’s with mentions of the SVU Squad. As noted before, there will be spoilers so read at your own discretion. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96riCbFx4co (This is from the last performance of the show so the audience is very much into it)  
> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B-hkgymxOo
> 
> Lyrics in Bold  
> Dialogue in Plain  
> Narration in Italics

_ Alyssa had just confessed her true feelings to Emma and the school has finally given the green light to throw the inclusive prom. The two girls hold each other and start to sway back and forth. _

**Alyssa: I just wanna dance with you**

**Let the whole world melt away**

**And dance with you**

**Alyssa & Emma: Who cares what other people say**

**And when we're through**

**No one can convince us we were wrong**

**All it takes you and me**

**Em: And a song**

**Al: I just wanna dance with you**

**Em: Let the whole world melt away and**

**Al: I just wanna**

**Both: Dance with you**

_ The two girls look at each other and smile. Then Barry claps his hands together  _

**Barry:** Alright people, let's get down to business.

We gotta make this place look fabulous!

**Em:** It's gotta be perfect.

Kids from across the entire state are coming,

So let's do this right

**One thing you've taught me**

**Is how much people enjoy a show**

**And so you've got me**

**Debating how this whole night should go**

**Kids will be watching**

**To see who every guest is**

**And so my only request is**

**Build a prom for everyone**

**Show them all it can be done**

**If music blares and no one cares**

**Who your unruly heart loves**

**Build it now**

**Make people see how the world could one day be**

**It might come true if we take a chance**

**But 'til that day comes**

**I say cue the drums**

**It's time to dance**

_ Dee Dee hugs Tom Hawkins, the school’s principal and the two start to sway back and forth _

**Dee Dee: I just want to dance with you**

_ The school’s gym teacher walks by with two cans of paint. Barry looks at him and sings _

**Barry: I just want to dance with you**

_ Angie runs up excitedly _

Angie: Oh my god. 

Barry: What? What is it?

An: I just got the call Tina Louise has shingles. The producers want me to go on as Roxi Hart. 

_ Angie puts her hands up in flashy pose, much like in Chicago _

Em: What did you tell them?

An: I said I have a Prom to go to, fuck off! I’m just kidding. I'm on the red eye tomorrow let's get this party started!

  
  


**Trent: Time to get dressed up**

**Barry: I'll be a vision in aqua-blue**

**Emma: It's time we fessed up**

**This year our prom queen will be you**

**Barry: Maybe I'll wear a tiara**

**When it's go time**

**All: Get ready folks**

**'Cause it's show time**

_ The group sings as the preparation of the prom goes on behind them _

**All: Build a prom for everyone**

**Show them all it can be done**

**If music blares and no one cares**

**Who your unruly heart loves**

**Build it now**

**Make people see how the world could one day be**

**It might come true if we take a chance**

**But 'til that day comes**

**I say cue the drums**

**It's time to dance**

Angie: Okay let's go get pretty.

_ Angie, Trent and Sheldon leave. Emma and Alyssa head into the gym _

_ Tom walks over to Dee Dee. _

Tom: What would you prefer, orchid or gardenias?

D: For what?

T: Your corsage

D: Oh, oh Gardenias thank you.

_ Hawkins goes to walk away but turns back around _

D: Can I just?

_ Hawkins cuts her off with a kiss. He heads into the gym leaving Dee Dee speechless. She turns to Barry _

D: Do not let me destroy him.

B: I’ll do my best.

_ The two friends walk up to each other. Dee wraps her arm over Barry’s shoulder, and the two hug. _

  
  


D: So is that what not failing feels like?

B:I think so, yeah. Pretty good, huh?

D: Yeah

B:I bought a corset. I'm gonna need help with the laces

D: I'll do you, you'll do me

_ They go to leave but before they do, Emma and Alyssa exit the gym  _

Al: Hey guys wait up. Emma has something she wants to show us. 

_ The two stop, walking back over to Emma. Emma starts to look at her phone _

E: Check out this message I just got from HotshotAttorney50 in Manhattan. 

B: Ooh a lawyer, fancy. 

D: And in New York no less. 

_ Emma starts to read the message _

Em: “Hi Emma, my coworkers and I have been following your story since the beginning and we’re so happy you and Alyssa finally get your prom.”

D: Oh that’s nice

E: It gets better. “Thanks to your video, which was beautiful by the way. My former coworker and I we’re finally able to come out to our friends- our family, and confess our feelings for each other. We’re going out on a date next week and I have a feeling it will blossom into something more. We can not thank you both enough for your courage and your willingness to be yourself, because it led us to do the same. Now go enjoy your prom.

Al: Wow

E: See its reasons like these why this prom is so important. People everywhere are finally feeling comfortable and free in who they are. 

D: It really is wonderful.

_ The four of them all smile at the beautiful message. Alyssa and Emma smile at each other, they then hold hands  _

  
  


Barry: Now let’s go get ready for what shall be the best thing to ever happen in Indiana!

  
  
  


_ The scene transitions to the prom itself. Multiple couples enter through a curtain of streamers. The last ones through are Emma and Alyssa, beaming with joy and pride. They look around at the prom they created.  _

  
  


**Em & Al: This is more than I dared wish for**

**It's epic and what's more**

**Tonight there's room for anyone**

**So everyone on the floor**

**Get on the floor**

_ Epic dance break. The rest of the group has their own flashy entrances into the Prom. Emma gives Barry the Prom Queen crown. _

_ Everyone is at the prom now and the main group along with the other prom goers continue the song, jumping and dancing with pure joy.  _

  
  


**All: It's time to**

**Build a prom for everyone**

**Show them all it can be done**

**If music blares and no one cares**

**Who your unruly heart loves**

**Build it now**

**Make people see how the world could one day be**

**It might come true if we take a chance**

**But 'til that day comes**

**I say cue the drums**

**And take to the floor**

**That's what the floor's for**

**So turn up the bass**

**Until the whole place**

**Gets into the beat**

**And has to repeat**

**It's time to dance**

**Em & Al: I just want to dance with you**

**All: It's time to dance**

**Em & Al: I just want to dance with you**

_ Emma and Alyssa start to slow dance, looking at each other lovingly.  _

**All: It's time to dance**

_ They pull apart for a bit just to really look at each other. They then quickly pull each other into a kiss- one full of true love. _

**All: Dance**

**Dance**

**It's time to dance!**

_ Emma and Alyssa hold their hands up together in a power pose, unafraid, unashamed and truly happy.  _

  
  


_ Meanwhile back in New York. Rafael and Sonny have not left each other’s side all night. Sonny holds on to Rafael, not wanting to let him go. Rafael nestles into Sonny's arms, comfort washing over him.  _

Amanda: Are you two ever going to let go?

_ She chuckles and Rafael smiles wide, looking up at Sonny _

Rafael: Nope. Never

Carisi: Now that I’ve got him, I want to hold him and never let go.

_ Barba looks up at Carisi with love _

O: Apparently that first date won’t be needed?

C: Oh It’s still happening.

B: But we don’t need to wait for it to see if our relationship blossoms. I already know it will. 

_ Rafael kisses Sonny on the cheek _

_ Kat chuckles  _

K: I’m happy for you two. 

F: Shall we toast?

A: Yes. 

_ She raises her glass  _

A: To Sonny and Rafael

_ The rest of squad follows suit with glasses/bottles raised _

O: To Sonny and Rafael

B: And to Emma and Alyssa

K: Hear Hear

_ The squad clinks their glasses together. Rafael and Sonny forgo the drink and instead kiss each other again.  _

  
  


_ The squad takes their drinks and looks on and smiles at their friends in love.  _

  
  


_ What a night  _

_ Two different states, two different couples. The same feelings shared throughout- joy, self-acceptance, pride, and love _

_ This is how the world can be. It might come true if we take the chance.  _

_ They did- why can’t we? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re wondering where I got the username HotshotAttorney50, The Hotshot Attorney is pretty self-explanatory, that’s what Barba is, and the 50 is Raul’s age.
> 
> Now, If you’ve read the comments in the first chapter then you already know my thoughts on homosexuality and the LGBTQ+ community. I wholeheartedly believe that love is the most important thing in the world. You should be able to love who you want to love no matter what. I hope by writing this fic, I have got this point across. Regardless of what is made canon in SVU, I hope one day we can live in a world where the ideas from this fic, and the inspiring story that is the musical, The Prom are accepted and made true. Love is love. 
> 
> Thank you for reading

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and feedback are welcome (:


End file.
